Saturday, February 14, 2009

Learning to Wait Upon God

"And they lived happily ever after"...these are words that we all love to hear at the end of a story. There is such a tremendous let down when things don't go the way we had hoped they would go. Our family grieves along with each of you over the disappointment of Misha not being adopted into our family. Like each of you, we dreamed of a different ending. We are very sorry to have played a role in bringing about this disappointment.

There are many questions, that for the sake of discretion cannot be answered. Not addressing these questions leaves our family in a bad light. My flesh would love to defend ourselves, but I must leave it to God to make all things right. I have peace that our testimony belongs to God. If it is His choice to allow it to be tarnished then we will praise Him. God can be glorified in many ways.

Why did God allow us to raise all the money if He never intended for us to adopt Misha? Why would He allow a family who sincerely desired to help someone in need be humiliated and bruised? Why would He not show His wonderful power in this situation? For the moment, only God knows the answer to these questions. The only comfort I can offer is that our family has a perfect peace over our decisions. The struggles we have been through have only served to draw us closer as a family.

Sometimes it is very difficult to wait on God. To wait on answers to the questions we don't understand. To wait on Him in coming to our defense. To wait on seeing how all this will work together for His glory. So many times I have felt myself wanting to rush ahead of God by making things happen or taking matters into my own hands.

My passion for history has helped me see the mistakes of others who have lived before me. We Christians will say that God is in control, but when situations arise that require us to wait, our actions begin to reveal that we really don't believe this. We began rushing ahead and creating disharmony among our brothers and sisters. We can make such a mess out of something that God was just allowing time to marinate for a savory delicacy. No wonder the church is in such a mess today.

In an attempt to save something that we thought was so important to God, we might begin abusing others or lashing out in anger; to the destruction of something so much more valuable to Him. The fruits of the Spirit! It is by these fruits that the world will see that Christ is truly living in us. What are the fruits of the Spirit? Love, Joy, Peace, Long-suffering (patience), gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance. The opposite of walking in the Spirit is to walk in the flesh; which is simply acting upon our impulses. Romans 8:13-14 "If ye live after the flesh, ye shall die: but if ye through the Spirit do mortify the deeds of the body, ye shall live. For as many are led by the Spirit of God, they are the sons of God."

I encourage each of you to learn to wait upon the Lord. God will make all things right. He never loses control nor will He put on us more than we can bear. We rejoice in knowing that one day, we all will be allowed to see, the marvelous way that God has worked all things together for our good.

"But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint." Isaiah 40:31

Thursday, February 12, 2009

An Explanation

As of today, days after our original deadline of Feb. 9, we still have not received the necessary paperwork back from the government. Therefore according to one of our original fleece, God did not allow the paperwork to be completed by the deadline.

From the beginning we asked that IGAO interview other families while we were seeking God's Will of our adopting Misha. We wanted Misha to be given every opportunity before his time ran out. As the deadline approached, it became clear to us that Misha didn't really want to be a part of our family. Therefore we made the decision to release him before more of our donors money had been unnecessarily spent.

As I've mentioned before, Misha did many things in the orphanage that he was clearly told would not be allowed in our home. The first week with us, we sat him down with Google Translate and told him that alcohol, smoking, pornographic movies, and rock music were not things he could have in our home. We asked him if he wanted us to get the organization to find him another family. He told us that he wanted to stay in our family and that he could give those things up.

Parenting biological children is difficult within itself, but guiding a child who comes with tremendous baggage really begins to take its toll on a family. Add to those stresses, long hospital stays, discovering my only sibling had cancer, a mother with Alzheimer's, and is it any wonder that when we went for our adoption physicals my blood pressure was dangerously high. My doctor told Philip that the stress I was under was not good for me and that he highly recommended that we not pursue the adoption.

We were haunted with thoughts of what would happen to Misha should he not be adopted by us. Many sources had told us that because of the severity of his handicaps it would be very difficult for him to be adopted if we didn't do this. We began crying out to God for answers.

Misha began challenging our rules and refusing to obey. Through a Russian interpreter, we had it explained to him that it wasn't up to him to question our standards but to decide if he could obey them. It was made clear to him that if he could not obey, he would not be allowed to stay in our family. Once again he said that he would try, but daily he continued to challenged us. This bothered us because we were only weeks away from the adoption being completed. One would think, that he would want to be on his best behavior. Then the day came when he set his will completely against my authority and refused to obey. I gently reminded him of the consequences and gave him time to reconsider, yet an hour later he still refused to submit. He then proceeded to tell us that he hated our stupid rules.

Philip and I have never desired to force our standards on another person. We have patiently tried to help a child that does not know what good is. Yet, we also have other children we must consider. We have dedicated our lives to protecting our children from influences that would lead them away from God. We do not feel that letting Misha go means that we have abandoned him. Actually, he is the one who made the decision. It is he that has rejected us.

We have begun the process of returning the money donated for Misha's adoption. Money sent to IGAO is beyond our control and therefore is non-refundable. Money collected on the "Chip In"was placed in a special Paypal account for Misha and Paypal allows a 60 day refund without penalty. When we realized that the adoption wasn't going to take place we immediately credited those accounts that fell within 60 days so that we could keep from incurring more loss. We also returned any checks that we were still holding that hadn't been deposited. As it stands, we have all but about $3,000 that we can immediately return to our donors. The remaining $3,000 will need to be sent in increments over the next few months.

IGAO has pleaded with us to give them your names and information so that they can contact you directly, but we do not feel at liberty to do this.

For the moment, Misha still abides in our home as we wait for necessary paperwork to be completed in transferring him. As a family, we are trying to make our remaining time with him as memorable as possible. Please pray for us because this has become very difficult.

When Satan is so hard at work to destroy, we believe the body of Christ needs to fall more heavily upon their knees. It is clear that he is working mighty hard to keep something wonderful from happening. The marvelous news is that he has already been defeated. Greater is He that is in us than he that is in the world.

Even though he has been defeated we Christians still have a human responsibility in our daily actions. Simple losses of integrity can leave the testimony of God's children blemished before the world. Philip and I believe that God has placed us in this position of humility and failure for a purpose. We have wondered if that purpose could simply be a test of our integrity. Ananias and Sapphira lied to the holy Spirit and tried to cheat God and his people. They were destroyed. Philip and I do not want to make the same mistake. We desire that God be glorified even in the middle of this messy situation. We joyfully surrender our losses for the sake of His glory.

Thank you all again for the beautiful testimony you each have been.

We love you dearly,
Philip and Melissa

Sunday, February 8, 2009

Urgent News!

Our family would like to thank you, once again, for your willingness to help us adopt Misha. However, events beyond our control have prevented this from happening.

We realize that a shadow of disappointment may engulf many of you as it has us. It was easy to see God glorified as we all watched people unite and sacrificially share, to help us adopt Misha. For the moment, a cloud prevents us from seeing the light of God and His purpose in this situation.

Through the years, we have found peace in reflecting on the fact that God never loses control. He knows the future and every circumstance needed to bring Misha to an understanding of Him.

We hope God allows us the opportunity to keep you informed about Misha's progress on our blog (

May God richly bless you all,
The Johnson Family

Friday, January 30, 2009

Praise and Prayer

I want to begin by Praising God for each of you! The sacrifice and love you have all shown to Misha and our family is truly inspiring. Raising close to $30,000 in just a little over three months is nothing short of a miracle, and when one considers that 70% of that money was raised during a three week span from January 1st -Jan 25th, they must see that this miracle required divine intervention. What a beautiful picture of how the church is suppose to cooperate together to bring about God's Will in fulfilling the needs of those who are hurting. God has truly been glorified!!! Thank you all, it has been a wonderful testimony to our family and the world!

It has become evident to us that the enemy doesn't like for miracles to be performed. Over the last two months we have been under heavy spiritual warfare, which hopefully explains the lack of sufficient communication. We greatly desired to honestly portray all that was going on here in order to have warriors helping pray us through our battles, but the nature of some of our struggles has kept up from knowing how to communicate.

All along there have been struggles, but it seems that everything has intensified as the deadline approaches. We've been hesitant to share our struggles because as everyone knows, we are embarking on a difficult journey. It only takes a little research to see that adopting an older child is not an easy task. We would prefer to only share the things we have overcome along the way to prevent others from being afraid of taking a similar journey. Yet, we've been realizing that this isn't completely honest. There might be other families out there who are watching our journey and if we only share our victories they will only see one side of the story. This might cause them to make hasty decisions that could harm their families, only because they were not properly informed. After much prayer, we feel that the only thing we can do is make everyone completely aware of how to pray for us. Just because a task is challenging hasn't kept missionaries from going into dangerous situations, but knowing what they may have to sacrifice and face has helped prepare them for their journey.

Just days after discovering that our goal had been met, Philip talked with another father who has just returned from Russia to adopt a four year old boy. This father told Philip that the expected $30,000 adoption ended up costing them $45,000 and that they are now close to $20,000 in debt. We were devastated! After months of fund-raising and caring for a handicapped child who has undergone extensive surgeries, we just didn't have the energy to press forward. I began crying out to God over why He has helped us reach our goals only to discover that there might be an increase in expenses and that we won't really know how much the adoption will cost until all the papers have been signed and we are back on American soil.

From the beginning of the fund-raiser, Philip and I purposed not to spend the money entrusted to us, until we could be sure that we could follow through with the adoption. We have felt that as ambassadors of Christ we need to carefully reflect the integrity of the God we represent. It has been our desire to return the money should things not work together as planned. We had thought that it would be easy to tell when we should move forward and began using the money on all the necessary paperwork. Up until now we have spent close to $5,000 of our own personal money as well as the money collected at IGAO to help move us forward.

Philip and I have worked very hard to live a debt free life and we unanimously agreed not to do anything that would place us back under financial bondage. Instead we have been pursuing and have found several ways that might help cut adoption expenses.

Another problem that we have incurred is determining if Misha will submit himself to our family rules. During Misha's first week with us he freely shared how in Russia he smoke, drank, watched any movie he desired, listened to heavy rock music, stayed up as late as he wanted and only went to school when he chose. Immediately Philip and I sat him down with the Google translator and told him that our family was very different and that he would have to follow our rules if he stayed here. We asked him if he desired for us to find him another host family. He insisted that he liked it here and would give all those things up.

During the four months he has been with us (one of those months he spent in the hospital),we have seen evidences that would cause us to question if Misha is really ready to submit himself to those rules. A week ago he broke down and told the kids and I that he hated our rules and wanted to be in control of his own life. Philip was at work, so I talked with Misha about how every family has different goals but that these are the decisions that dad and I have made for ours. I told him that if he wanted to be a part of our family he must decide if he could obey our family rules. He again told me that he wanted to be his own boss. I told him that time had run out in finding him a new family and that the only way he could be free to do what all he wanted to do would be to go back to Russia. And once again he told me that he wanted to be in control of his own life.

That night when Philip got home, he privately pulled Misha aside and began telling him that when our family first heard about the orphanage in Russia we felt that we could help a child there by giving them a loving home and opportunity for a happy life. "During your time here you have told several of us that you were unhappy in Russia because you wanted a family, but that you are also unhappy here because you miss your freedom. We understand that the change is hard for you, but you must decide which is worse." Philip proceeded to tell him that if it is the same, then we don't really desire to make all the sacrifices we are going to have to make. After this conversation Misha began to tell us that it is better here, but confusion has come in observing how his behavior doesn't always align with his words.

The next day, a former Russian had a long conversation with him so that he would clearly realize what all was at stake. Misha said he would try to obey our rules and told this person that he did want to stay in our family. Yet after the conversation he showed no remorse for his behavior and didn't apologize to us for the heartache he has caused over the last few days.

Philip and I realize that Misha is an injured boy and we can understand his resistance towards change and authority. We also know that he had to develop an independent spirit in order to survive in the orphanage those fifteen years. Our hearts break for him and we greatly desire to help him. The problem is that we have other children to consider and repeatable challenging of family harmony and rules will most definitely not be profitable on a long term basis.

Philip and I are not inexperienced when it comes to handling teenagers since we have raised and continue to be raising six biological children who are in or through that phase of life. We have always tried to help our children see that feelings of independence are normal during this period of life but that they must continue to exercise submission to our authority while they are still under our roof. Teenage rebellion has thus far never been a problem because we pursued to hold our children's hearts. They have always known that we had their best interest in mind and therefore they have trusted in our decisions. Philip and I will be the first to admit that we make parental mistakes, but it has been beautiful to see how our children can overlook a multitude of sins because of the love that they know we have for them.

We realize that Misha is at a disadvantage to our biological children. He hasn't benefited from years of observing us operate. Instead, his life has been filled with rejection and struggling to survive. This has created an individualist mentality that seeks to preserve itself at all cost.

Some have encouraged us to plunge ahead and began spending the money that God has provided, yet without a peace from God we do not feel this is the direction we should take. At present, we are carefully observing Misha and moving ahead as far as we can go without violating our conscience. We are praying that God will either close the door or give us a peace to move forward. Until that peace comes we do not feel free to dip into the money that has personally come to us.

Please pray that God will make His will known to us.

I'm strengthened when I consider that God loves Misha even more than we do. He has demonstrated this by taking a handicapped boy out of 132,000,000 orphans in the world and bringing him to our home. Philip and I have never doubted that it was God's will that we host Misha. Adopting him has yet to be made clear. Our desire is to glorify God by obediently following His will......whenever He clearly makes that will known.

Thursday, January 22, 2009

January 22nd Totals

Total Amount Needed for Adoption:


Donations sent to IGAO:

- $3,976.00

Donations sent to Johnsons:

- $4,650.50

Other Donations:

- $6,992.50

Total Needed via ChipIn:

= $11,211.00

Donations via ChipIn (as of Jan. 22):

- $11,325.98

Leaving us with this remainder to collect:

= ($114.98)

Praise God!!!

Philip and I have never been comfortable with asking for money. We struggled when friends suggested that we try to raise the money to adopt Misha. These precious friends began reminding us that this adoption was not about us, but about Misha. We decided to lay out the fleece of provision for the necessary funds (without us taking out a loan), and also God allowing enough time to complete all the paperwork.

We began this fund-raiser in October and in just a little over three months, God has used each of you to raise over $26,000. I can't began to convey to you, how deeply moved our family has been through this entire process.

Originally, I started the blog as a diary for Misha. When we began this, Philip and I weren't sure what to expect. Would God bring people who had never met us, and give them a desire to unite with us in adopting a handicapped child? My faith in our abilities to raise $27,000 in less than six months, was very small.

Some of you have shared your discouragement over the lack of interest your friends or church family have shown, as you have tried to help collect money for Misha. These are economically troubling times. Please have grace on others who might not share our zeal.

Instead, I want to encourage you with a bigger picture that our family has been blessed to observe. We have seen the generous outpouring and love of fellow believers. We have received sacrificial gifts from loved ones as well as total strangers. Young children have emptied their piggybanks and asked their parents to give all their Christmas money to Misha. Many families cut way back and made this Christmas a time of joining in Misha's adoption.

We do not begin to know all the sacrifices each of you have personally made. When we began receiving money, we decided to keep a record of all the names, addresses and donations given so that we would be able to personally contact everyone who has joined with us in adopting Misha. This book is filled with all the information that I have on everyone who has given, so that I can update them of Misha's progress through the years. This book reminds me of a book that God is keeping. In His book, He is recording every detail concerning circumstances, motives, thoughts and actions over every daily deed of each of us. My only responsibility is to make sure that the entries under my name are worthy of praise.

Let us rejoice in what God has done and is doing!

Wednesday, January 14, 2009


Frances works in "Child Life" at the hospital. One of her jobs is to mentally prepare all the patients for surgery. She explains the procedures "step by step" so that they will not be so frightened by all the unfamiliar tubes and equipment.

The hospital works extremely hard to make every child's stay as comfortable as possible. Fear can be tremendously reduced when a person knows what to expect. Frances is absolutely perfect for the job! Her sweet and gentle demeanor gives the children feelings of peace and trust.

Another of her jobs is to plan all sorts of activities for the children while they are going through recovery. She schedules various games, crafts, and parties to keep the children from becoming bored.

Frances is also one of the precious people who stood by Misha during his first Wound Vac change. Her compassion and love for these children is heart-warming.

No wonder Misha has grown to love her so much!


Shortly after Misha's first surgeries, we discovered that there was a man in prosthetics who had moved here from Russia. Through the weeks that followed Misha met this young man, whose name is Alex, and they have become good friends.

Alex has been so kind to Misha; understanding how misplaced this young boy must feel. Alex himself came to America to receive surgeries from a sports injury he incurred in Russia. Not only has he been someone for Misha to talk with, but he has helped me understand some of the cultural differences and struggles that Misha is going through.

We have been so blessed by the many people God has brought into our lives during this time who have each helped strengthen our bonds with Misha.